I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So vagazzling was a success
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
