In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
