We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
