was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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