i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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