I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We're too hungover to prance.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
