the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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