I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
