dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
