why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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