just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Randomize
