i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My bed smells like the plague
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
