Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
