is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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