I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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