everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
