Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
