I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
whose ass print is on the piano?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
