i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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