my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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