I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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