Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Randomize
