I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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