Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
