Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
