SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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