Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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