Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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