is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
