is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
