so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
