My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
