I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
