There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
