go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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