I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
