He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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