ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
