Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
