Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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