Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
