At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
