No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Randomize
