Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Randomize
