its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
