Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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