Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Less talking, more tequila
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
