yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
