Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
