It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
