do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
