I want to have your abortion
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
