So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
