My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
