We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
