I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
