Have you finally orgasmed yet?
"it" just moved
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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